Daddy's Day

I am sure Tanner knows that he has got the best daddy!

He likes to go on walks with Daddy when they are both wearing skirts....

 

He likes to wear Daddy's shoes...

 

His hat...

 

and play, play and play some more.

 

We love you so much Daddy!

 

Happy Father's Day! We wouldn't be here without you.

New Car!

Kollin went to register his truck this morning and the place gave him crap for not having a catalytic converter.
AGAIN.
This happened last year as well, but apparently not all diesels come with them, and his is one of them.
This was the last straw, so he decided we were going to go trade it in and get something else.

Bye bye Beast! :(


 Hello Trixi!




So far we are totally in love. Yay!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a couple BBQs that we went to over Memorial Day weekend.

First, we had a BBQ at Grandma and Grandpa Cannon's house. It was a pretty chilly day so we all just ate inside. After dinner all the little boys started running around and having a grand old time. 

This was the first time that Tanner actually "participated" in the fun. He couldn't keep up with the bigger boys racing around the house, but he had so much fun toddling after them!

 

After dinner we all headed to the ball park to watch a Bees game and see fireworks.

 It was COLD! Good thing we had coats and blankets to bundle up in.

 Tanner got bored though.

 He was super fussy. Whenever we tried to wrap him in a blanket to keep him warm he would freak out more. Probably thought we were trying to put him to sleep or something.

There wasn't anything we could do to keep him from crying but go walk around with him. I found a little room that had the elevators in it to go to the suites that was enclosed and warmer than outside. We hung out in there for a while since he had no where to go and I couldn't lose him. Ha!

Grandpa Cannon did a pretty good job of calming him down and keeping him warm. He's got the magic touch.

 We got fed up with the cold, so we left before they did the fireworks. Oh well!

The next day we had a BBQ at Great Grandma Norman's house. It was still pretty chilly so we ate inside there as well.

After we ate the kids wanted to go and play in the backyard.

Tanner had lots of fun with Grandma Stark on a scooter and swing.

 Cousin Tiff always loves to play with Tanner when she sees him, so we let him stay outside with her while we went inside. 

The next thing we knew cousin Cory came inside saying that we weren't allowed to go outside.... So of course we did.

And THIS is what we found.

Tanner was having so much fun in that sand though. He got so much sand everywhere, but it was so cute.

Intermountain Healing Hearts 5k

We went to the 5k to support our heart heroes and angels today.
Kollin and I are not runners, but my best friend Sara ran it to honor Tanner.
(She's in there somewhere)

She ended up coming in at 6th place overall I think.
Way to go my Sava!

My favorite people!

We also got some sliding time in.

Kollin went exploring with Tanner and found a firetruck! (go fig)

There was a picnic after the race with the heart families. It was so nice to see so many wonderful families that I have already met, and also met a few new ones.
It was also the first time the husbands and fathers came to an event (at least that we've been to), so they were all probably a little overwhelmed at all of the introducing that was going on!
I'm sad that I didn't think to snap any pictures during the picnic, but next time!
All of these mommies are starting to figure out that I'm a little trigger happy with the camera. I'm such a slacker.

15 Month Checkup

Tanner had his 15 month Dr. appointment today.

I've said it before, and I'll said it again.

I love his pediatrician!

Dr. Terashima is the one that caught his heart defect, and therefore, saved his life.

Dr. Terashima was very happy with what he was seeing with Tanner. He gave him some toys to play with to see what he would do. He said it was good that he is pointing to things, kept looking at him as if for approval, babbling, saying little words and very involved with people. He says lots of those are good indicators that Tanner is not autistic.

We talked about car seat laws, eating, doing away with bottles, the results from his sedated echo last month and a bunch of other things. I love how thorough he is!

As he was reading the notes from his echo he mentioned some things that Tanner's cardiologist never mentioned. That kind of disappointed me a little that she didn't say anything at the time, but I'm over it.

He said that it was mentioned in the notes that the echo showed that he is showing a sub-aortic ridge. The post that I wrote about his different defects explain the subvalvular stenosis (sub-aortic stenosis). Well, the ridge is kind of like that, but much much smaller. It is not blocking his valve and not even affecting the blood flow at all. Phew!

I had actually read recently that a sub-aortic stenosis can come back after it is repaired and could warrant more surgery. So this information kind of freaked me out.

Given that it is just a "ridge" and not a "stenosis" there is nothing to worry about right now. And if it was something to worry about our cardiologist would have still wanted to see Tanner every 4-6 months instead of only once a year now. So I am sure she is not worried about it at all and that may be why she didn't mention it. I still would have liked to know everything that is going on with my kid though...

He got his 15 month shots today too. He was not happy about that one bit. But he did well and stopped crying shortly after. What a trooper!

He says that Tanner is growing well and all of his measurements are staying consistent. He said he is actually a little chunkier than he is tall, so that means we're feeding him good! (which is one thing I have been worrying about)

I was really excited to see how much he weighed and how tall he was. He's still growing! Yay!

Weight: 20 lbs 4 oz

Height: 28 1/2 inches

Now We Match!

For a long time now we have been getting comments on how red Tanner's hair is.

We always end up explaining that Kollin has natural red highlights in his hair and Kollin's mom also has red hair. I have no idea if it comes from me since I'm adopted, but my mom also had red hair so I'm sure he got some of that while she was preparing him to come to us when they were both together in Heaven.

Kollin and I both had very blonde hair as little kids. Mine has stayed pretty blonde and Kollin's has gone darker.

I have been saying for a while that I wished I had Tanner's color of hair.

I have actually always wanted strawberry blonde hair for as long as I can remember. 

So we decided to do something about it today.

I was really nervous the entire time on how it would turn out since it was a home dye kit that we got for about $3.

It ended up taking three bottles to saturate my abundance of hair.

But it worked!

I LOVE it!

It is very subtle and didn't turn out orange like I was worried about.

I'm pretty excited that Tanner and I have even more in common now!

My Second Mommy's Day

I love this little goofball. I wouldn't be a mother yet without him!

 I love Kollin so much. I don't even know how to put it into words. Plus he's got good taste in flowers.



Today is International Bereaved Mother's Day

I cannot even begin to understand what you have gone through.

I was given a big dose of reality when I learned that my own son needed open heart surgery in order to live.

Ever since then my mind has been in a new place.

A place of compassion, tenderness and inspiration.

I was constantly told how strong I was while we were going through Tanner's journey.

But I have seen stronger.

I can honestly say that there is nothing comparable to the strength and grace of a mother who has lost a child.

I pray that you may feel love, comfort and your angel's arms wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

15 Months Old

15 months...

1 year and 3 months old.

What happened?

Next thing I know he'll be 15 years old.

Time is just rude.

He has been coming along so well.

He now has EIGHT teeth! Well... as far as I know. That kid does not like fingers in his mouth and will chomp down hard when you try to investigate. I actually just tried and found the beginning of a molar, so 9 teeth!

He babbles a lot right now. I will baby babble back and forth with him for 10 minutes at a time. I just wish I knew what he is saying. Or me for that matter!

Some of his favorite "words" right now are "da" (that could mean anything from Dad or that), "duh" (duck), "dah" (dog), "bah" (ball, bottle or anything that holds a liquid that he wants) and "ma" (well duh...). On occasions he will say "dog," "duck" and "ball" entirely.

He is getting to be quite the expert at walking. Sometimes he even tries to run. We still need to work on that. He's been getting some bumbs and bruises along the way.

He has been doing this for a while, but I don't think I've ever mentioned it... He loves to point at everything. He is constantly pointing where he wants to go... what he wants to see... when he sees Mommy or Daddy... anything.

Weight: 20 lbs 4 oz
Length: 28 1/2 inches

We love our little Tinman so much. We don't know what our lives would be like without him. We are so happy that he was able to come to be with us and that we were blessed that he was allowed to stay.

xoxo

our little munchkin

mommy and daddy

First Swing Ride

Memories

I got a new purse/diaper bag yesterday. As I was just cleaning out my purse to switch everything over I came across Tanner's first ankle band from when he was born!

I have kept everything from all of his hospital stays and put them in his scrapbook.

When we first got home from LA, I remember going through everything to organize it and save stuff. I could have sworn I remembered exactly where I had put his ankle band since I remembered where I put all the other ones.... But nope. I couldn't find it anywhere! I was so upset and sad since it was the first one. The one he had before everything happened with his heart. When he was supposedly a healthy baby. And it was the cutest one too... See the bears?

Apparently I did remember where I put it. I knew I stashed it in my purse. But when I was looking for it after, I neglected to check a teeny little pocket.

It makes me so happy that I finally found it. I though it had accidentally gotten thrown away with some papers.

And the bonus is that I had it next to me this entire time.

Right in my purse.

Sedated Echo

Tanner had a sedated echo today.

Just after we got there my sister texted me to see if we were there. She works at Primary's so she was able to come snuggle Tanner before she got too busy with work.

My Dad also came to help me out and provide moral support. It was fun hanging out with Grandpa while we waited.

He had to go to a work thing, but Gwen showed up shortly after he left!

It is so great having such a wonderful and supportive family!

The echo didn't take as long as I thought it would, or maybe I just lost track of time...

Tanner got a new blanket and a cute little hedgehog stuffed animal.

He did really well with the sedation this time. Last time he was so upset before they drugged him up, they almost had to knock him out completely.

This time he went right under and would lay there making cute little babble noises the entire time. It was sad, but cute.

Before we even got out of the echo room Tanner's cardiologist, Dr Minich, came in and listened to his heart and let us know she had already reviewed the images from the echo.

She said that he sounds wonderful other than a little murmur that he has. As far as I have known, he's had that murmur since after his surgery because of the way they repaired him and the blood just flows differently now.

She also said that his repair looks wonderful and she is very happy with how he is doing. She said that she doesn't need to see him again for a YEAR! That next appointment in a year will be for a chest x-ray and an EKG. Then another year after that will be another echo and he will most likely not need to be sedated because he will be better at holding still.

As she was saying this both Gwen and I started to cry because the news was so great!

Well done my little hero! Keep up the good work!

Tricky Tricky Mommy

Tanner will usually wake up a couple times a night and go right back to sleep when I go in and feed him a bottle.
I know I need to get out of that habit, and if anyone has any good suggestions on how to do it so I don't feel terrible, I'm all ears!
Tonight, however, he was being a little difficult to get back to sleep.
I ended up holding and rocking him for a while. But he would wake right back up as soon as I put him in his crib.
So then I tried rubbing his back while he was in his cub. But as soon as I would stop he'd look up at me.
This was the only way I could get him to stay down....
I rubbed his back then stitched to the dog and left it on his back so hopefully he'd think I'm still there.
So far it's working!

Done and DONE!

Sorry if this post is TMI for anyone, but I wanted to document it...

I have been working on weaning Tanner off of breast milk since his birthday and have FINALLY gotten to the point that he is completely on whole milk and I can stop nursing and pumping!

At the beginning I was pumping every 2 hours around the clock. I didn't take breaks at night and would be up either nursing or pumping. Every. Two. Hours. That sucked, but I was willing to do what needed to be done to make sure Tanner was getting the nourishment he needed to gain weight and recover from his surgery.

Then probably around 4 or 5 months old I started taking breaks at night. Only nursed him at night when he would happen to wake up, but no pumping. I would still try to pump or nurse as close to every 2-4 hours during the day. This lasted until he was one.

Once he turned one I started mixing in whole milk with breast milk. In 5oz bottles I started with 4oz of breast milk and 1oz of whole milk for about a week at a time. Then I would add one more oz of whole milk and less breast milk. Also still nursing at night.

For the past few weeks I was still producing enough for what was needed that I was able to eventually drop down to only pumping once a day! That was nice. (and still nursing at night)

Last week we had finally gotten to 1 oz of breast milk and 4oz of whole milk. So on Sunday I made the decision to stop pumping and nursing.

Tanner has done great! It's not like he has even noticed a difference. The only thing I've noticed is him waking up a little more often at night because I'm sure the whole milk isn't filling him up as much as the breast milk. But that's it!

All day Sunday I did great. No engorgement and no pain. Until about midnight. I was up late reading a book and all the sudden realized that my left side was pretty sore... and huge.

So I pumped for 1/2 the time that I usually would just to alleviate the pain. (I used to pump for 10 minutes at a time, and now pumped for 5) It worked and I felt much better.

The next morning, however, I was pretty sore and engorged again. So I pumped for 1/2 the time again and it relieved a little bit but there was still a dull soreness the entire day. (it really wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be or how it had been in the past, so I could deal)

A couple of my friends from my heart group also suggested to take Benadryl and that would help. That stuff always knocks me out, so I waited to take it until Tanner was going to go down for his name. It was nice. The little pain that I was feeling seemed to subside and I was able to get a good nap in!

After the Benadryl wore off I remember hearing somewhere that cabbage helps as well if you put chilled cabbage leaves in your bra. Sure enough, a few of the heart moms also were suggesting this and it worked for them.

I called Kollin and asked him to pick up some cabbage for me on his way home from work. It was a pretty funny conversation, but he went along with me and got it. I love him!

I have to say that stuff was what I believe helped the most. The cold leaves felt so good and I don't know what is in that stuff, but it also helped with the pain and engorgement.

Now today (Wednesday) I am feeling pretty much back to normal! I took out the cabbage last night when I showered and haven't replaced it. I feel no pain! I am also pretty full right now (no pain or hardness, just... big). Kind of hoping it stays that way, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to deflate in a little while. phooey.

I loved being able to provide for my little Tanner in this way. But I am also happy that I'm done! I never minded the nursing, but the pumping got pretty old.

I will definitely miss the nursing part of it. I am so happy and proud of myself that I was able to go almost 14 months (my goal was 1 year) and had that bonding time with my buddy.

Heart Play Date

I just can't get enough of all of these wonderful heart families!

To commemorate the end of "winter lockdown" (winter months where you cannot go ANYWHERE to keep germs at bay) a bunch of us got together at a park with our kiddos and played to our hearts content.

 Tanner had a blast digging in the wood chips.

 He was the smallest one there that was able to walk around and try to play. The bigger kids were so sweet to play with him!

I've said it before and I'll say it again... I am so thankful to know these beautiful families!

Can't wait til next time!

Warrior: The Build-a-Bear

I have always wanted to get Tanner a bear with a zipper on its chest so it would match him.

Today we finally went to Build a Bear and made one! They couldn't do a zipper since you would have access to the stuffing, but they did stitching for us.

We also did stitching on the heart we put in him but I forgot to get a picture before he was all sewn up.

We named him Warrior. He is so cute and I know Tanner will just love that he is just like him.

First Lemon

I'll take the floor.

This little guy woke up and as I was getting him a bottle he crashed back out on my side of the bed.
At least he's sleeping!
I'll be on the floor tonight.
I love these two SO much.

Words

I wanted to hurry and write down some "words" that Tanner has been using lately before I forget when and what they were. So here ya go!

"Whassa" = what's that. when pointing at something

"Ya"

"Woaw" = this is said when he turfs it or drops something

"Da" or "Sa" = that. also when pointing at something

"Wat" = what

and others I have't been able to figure out what he's meaning, but he says a lot:

"Ada"

"........ ok, so he's not doing anymore at the moment and I can't think. Will fill in later!

And of course the ever popular "mama," "mom," "ma," "dada" and he has even said "daddy" a couple times.

Heart Lunch at In n Out

Today Tanner and I got to go to lunch with a bunch of heart moms and their kids.

I love being able to go to these little activities and meeting more wonderful women each time.

 What beautiful HEART babies!

I'm sure Tanner can't wait until he is old enough to be able to run around with all these boys. He loved watching them play and would get down and inch towards them, but not all the way! My silly little cautious bugger.

Can't wait for next time!