Memorial Day Weekend

We had a couple BBQs that we went to over Memorial Day weekend.

First, we had a BBQ at Grandma and Grandpa Cannon's house. It was a pretty chilly day so we all just ate inside. After dinner all the little boys started running around and having a grand old time. 

This was the first time that Tanner actually "participated" in the fun. He couldn't keep up with the bigger boys racing around the house, but he had so much fun toddling after them!

 

After dinner we all headed to the ball park to watch a Bees game and see fireworks.

 It was COLD! Good thing we had coats and blankets to bundle up in.

 Tanner got bored though.

 He was super fussy. Whenever we tried to wrap him in a blanket to keep him warm he would freak out more. Probably thought we were trying to put him to sleep or something.

There wasn't anything we could do to keep him from crying but go walk around with him. I found a little room that had the elevators in it to go to the suites that was enclosed and warmer than outside. We hung out in there for a while since he had no where to go and I couldn't lose him. Ha!

Grandpa Cannon did a pretty good job of calming him down and keeping him warm. He's got the magic touch.

 We got fed up with the cold, so we left before they did the fireworks. Oh well!

The next day we had a BBQ at Great Grandma Norman's house. It was still pretty chilly so we ate inside there as well.

After we ate the kids wanted to go and play in the backyard.

Tanner had lots of fun with Grandma Stark on a scooter and swing.

 Cousin Tiff always loves to play with Tanner when she sees him, so we let him stay outside with her while we went inside. 

The next thing we knew cousin Cory came inside saying that we weren't allowed to go outside.... So of course we did.

And THIS is what we found.

Tanner was having so much fun in that sand though. He got so much sand everywhere, but it was so cute.

Now We Match!

For a long time now we have been getting comments on how red Tanner's hair is.

We always end up explaining that Kollin has natural red highlights in his hair and Kollin's mom also has red hair. I have no idea if it comes from me since I'm adopted, but my mom also had red hair so I'm sure he got some of that while she was preparing him to come to us when they were both together in Heaven.

Kollin and I both had very blonde hair as little kids. Mine has stayed pretty blonde and Kollin's has gone darker.

I have been saying for a while that I wished I had Tanner's color of hair.

I have actually always wanted strawberry blonde hair for as long as I can remember. 

So we decided to do something about it today.

I was really nervous the entire time on how it would turn out since it was a home dye kit that we got for about $3.

It ended up taking three bottles to saturate my abundance of hair.

But it worked!

I LOVE it!

It is very subtle and didn't turn out orange like I was worried about.

I'm pretty excited that Tanner and I have even more in common now!

My Second Mommy's Day

I love this little goofball. I wouldn't be a mother yet without him!

 I love Kollin so much. I don't even know how to put it into words. Plus he's got good taste in flowers.



Today is International Bereaved Mother's Day

I cannot even begin to understand what you have gone through.

I was given a big dose of reality when I learned that my own son needed open heart surgery in order to live.

Ever since then my mind has been in a new place.

A place of compassion, tenderness and inspiration.

I was constantly told how strong I was while we were going through Tanner's journey.

But I have seen stronger.

I can honestly say that there is nothing comparable to the strength and grace of a mother who has lost a child.

I pray that you may feel love, comfort and your angel's arms wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

15 Months Old

15 months...

1 year and 3 months old.

What happened?

Next thing I know he'll be 15 years old.

Time is just rude.

He has been coming along so well.

He now has EIGHT teeth! Well... as far as I know. That kid does not like fingers in his mouth and will chomp down hard when you try to investigate. I actually just tried and found the beginning of a molar, so 9 teeth!

He babbles a lot right now. I will baby babble back and forth with him for 10 minutes at a time. I just wish I knew what he is saying. Or me for that matter!

Some of his favorite "words" right now are "da" (that could mean anything from Dad or that), "duh" (duck), "dah" (dog), "bah" (ball, bottle or anything that holds a liquid that he wants) and "ma" (well duh...). On occasions he will say "dog," "duck" and "ball" entirely.

He is getting to be quite the expert at walking. Sometimes he even tries to run. We still need to work on that. He's been getting some bumbs and bruises along the way.

He has been doing this for a while, but I don't think I've ever mentioned it... He loves to point at everything. He is constantly pointing where he wants to go... what he wants to see... when he sees Mommy or Daddy... anything.

We love our little Tinman so much. We don't know what our lives would be like without him. We are so happy that he was able to come to be with us and that we were blessed that he was allowed to stay.

xoxo

our little munchkin

mommy and daddy

First Swing Ride

Tricky Tricky Mommy

Tanner will usually wake up a couple times a night and go right back to sleep when I go in and feed him a bottle.
I know I need to get out of that habit, and if anyone has any good suggestions on how to do it so I don't feel terrible, I'm all ears!
Tonight, however, he was being a little difficult to get back to sleep.
I ended up holding and rocking him for a while. But he would wake right back up as soon as I put him in his crib.
So then I tried rubbing his back while he was in his cub. But as soon as I would stop he'd look up at me.
This was the only way I could get him to stay down....
I rubbed his back then stitched to the dog and left it on his back so hopefully he'd think I'm still there.
So far it's working!

Done and DONE!

Sorry if this post is TMI for anyone, but I wanted to document it...

I have been working on weaning Tanner off of breast milk since his birthday and have FINALLY gotten to the point that he is completely on whole milk and I can stop nursing and pumping!

At the beginning I was pumping every 2 hours around the clock. I didn't take breaks at night and would be up either nursing or pumping. Every. Two. Hours. That sucked, but I was willing to do what needed to be done to make sure Tanner was getting the nourishment he needed to gain weight and recover from his surgery.

Then probably around 4 or 5 months old I started taking breaks at night. Only nursed him at night when he would happen to wake up, but no pumping. I would still try to pump or nurse as close to every 2-4 hours during the day. This lasted until he was one.

Once he turned one I started mixing in whole milk with breast milk. In 5oz bottles I started with 4oz of breast milk and 1oz of whole milk for about a week at a time. Then I would add one more oz of whole milk and less breast milk. Also still nursing at night.

For the past few weeks I was still producing enough for what was needed that I was able to eventually drop down to only pumping once a day! That was nice. (and still nursing at night)

Last week we had finally gotten to 1 oz of breast milk and 4oz of whole milk. So on Sunday I made the decision to stop pumping and nursing.

Tanner has done great! It's not like he has even noticed a difference. The only thing I've noticed is him waking up a little more often at night because I'm sure the whole milk isn't filling him up as much as the breast milk. But that's it!

All day Sunday I did great. No engorgement and no pain. Until about midnight. I was up late reading a book and all the sudden realized that my left side was pretty sore... and huge.

So I pumped for 1/2 the time that I usually would just to alleviate the pain. (I used to pump for 10 minutes at a time, and now pumped for 5) It worked and I felt much better.

The next morning, however, I was pretty sore and engorged again. So I pumped for 1/2 the time again and it relieved a little bit but there was still a dull soreness the entire day. (it really wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be or how it had been in the past, so I could deal)

A couple of my friends from my heart group also suggested to take Benadryl and that would help. That stuff always knocks me out, so I waited to take it until Tanner was going to go down for his name. It was nice. The little pain that I was feeling seemed to subside and I was able to get a good nap in!

After the Benadryl wore off I remember hearing somewhere that cabbage helps as well if you put chilled cabbage leaves in your bra. Sure enough, a few of the heart moms also were suggesting this and it worked for them.

I called Kollin and asked him to pick up some cabbage for me on his way home from work. It was a pretty funny conversation, but he went along with me and got it. I love him!

I have to say that stuff was what I believe helped the most. The cold leaves felt so good and I don't know what is in that stuff, but it also helped with the pain and engorgement.

Now today (Wednesday) I am feeling pretty much back to normal! I took out the cabbage last night when I showered and haven't replaced it. I feel no pain! I am also pretty full right now (no pain or hardness, just... big). Kind of hoping it stays that way, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to deflate in a little while. phooey.

I loved being able to provide for my little Tanner in this way. But I am also happy that I'm done! I never minded the nursing, but the pumping got pretty old.

I will definitely miss the nursing part of it. I am so happy and proud of myself that I was able to go almost 14 months (my goal was 1 year) and had that bonding time with my buddy.

First Lemon

I'll take the floor.

This little guy woke up and as I was getting him a bottle he crashed back out on my side of the bed.
At least he's sleeping!
I'll be on the floor tonight.
I love these two SO much.

Words

I wanted to hurry and write down some "words" that Tanner has been using lately before I forget when and what they were. So here ya go!

"Whassa" = what's that. when pointing at something

"Ya"

"Woaw" = this is said when he turfs it or drops something

"Da" or "Sa" = that. also when pointing at something

"Wat" = what

and others I have't been able to figure out what he's meaning, but he says a lot:

"Ada"

"........ ok, so he's not doing anymore at the moment and I can't think. Will fill in later!

And of course the ever popular "mama," "mom," "ma," "dada" and he has even said "daddy" a couple times.

Happy to be Home

One year ago today, we were finally able to bring our little 20 day old baby home for the very first time!

Such a wonderful feeling.

$40 for some ointment? At least no stitches.

Today Tanner had a bit of an accident. I was pumping and he walked out of the room. The next thing I heard was a crash then crying.
I got to where he was and I saw blood all over his mouth and hands. Kind of freaked me out since that didn't help at all to know where he was hurt.
After I got him all cleaned off, this is what I found...

At first it looked pretty deep and he wouldn't let me look in his mouth to see if he got cut in there as well.

I called Kollin since he had my car and luckily he was already almost home from work.

We took him to KidsCare just to see if he needed stitches it not. Better safe than sorry!

We got there and waited for about an hour and were finally seen. The Dr said it didn't need stitches (yay!) and gave us a little thing of antibiotic ointment that was also over the counter.

It was really nice to know that he didn't need stitches, but it was sad that we had to pay the $40 copay just to get a thing of ointment that we could have picked up for just a few bucks. Sheesh.

So happy he is OK and hoping it doesn't scar. We'll see!
This is also my first post from my phone, so we'll see how it turns out!

CHD Awareness Week: Day 8.

Every 15 minutes a baby is born with a congenital heart defect . 4,000 of them will not live to celebrate their 1st Birthday . I pray and hope just like every other parent who has a child born with a congenital heart defect that more awareness comes soon . There are no cures only repaires or broken hearts !

Although a child is born every 15 minutes with a CHD, research continues to be grossly under-funded in America. Of every dollar the government spends on medical funding, only a fraction of a penny is directed toward congenital heart defect research.

We Need More Awareness for our Babies and families ....

CHD Awareness Week: Day 7.

* There are 35 different types of congenital heart defects. Little is known about the cause of most them. There is not yet a cure for any of them.

* In the U.S., twice as many children die from congenital heart defects each year than from all forms of childhood cancer combined, yet funding for pediatric cancer research is five times higher than funding for CHD.

CHD Awareness Week: Day 6.

* The Children's Heart Foundation has directed almost $2 million to 24 different congenital heart defect research projects.

* More than 50% of all children born with a congenital heart defect will require at least one invasive surgery in their lifetime.

CHD Awareness Week: Day 5.

* The Children's Heart Foundation is the only organization strictly created to fund congenital heart defect research.

* In the last decade death rates for congenital heart defects have declined by almost 30% due to advances made through research.

This video is so sweet. Tanner is 2:45 but all of these babies are such warriors!

CHD Awareness Week: Day 4.

* Only one penny of every dollar donated to the American Heart Association goes towards congenital heart defect research.

* Of every dollar the government spends on medical funding only a fraction of a penny is directed toward congenital heart defect research.

One Year Ago Today

1 Year ago today.

CHD Awareness Week: Day 3.

* The cost for inpatient surgery to repair congenital heart defects exceeds $2.2 billion a year.

* Congenital heart defects occur frequently and is often life threatening, yet research into them is grossly underfunded.