Mother I Love You, I Love You, I Do

Today is the 5th anniversary since my beautiful Mother passed away. I can't believe it has been 5 long years already. There have been so many changes in my life, and many of them have probably stemmed from not having my Mommy.
This year has been a little bitter sweet also. She died on a Sunday, and the Sunday that Musical at East High was held. This year, it was a Sunday again, and Musical was also today.
I had to work today. Sitting at my desk all day long, I kept wondering if it was better for me at work, keeping my mind off of this day. Or if I should have just stayed home in bed, in the fetal position, and let Richard deal with the daily worries. I don't know.
There are times when I don't think I will ever get over the loss of my Mother. You never know how much you need someone until you are slapped in the face with the knowledge that you will never see them, hear their voice, hold them, hear their laugh or have them a phone call away again in this life.
When she died, one of my co-workers told me that she had also lost her Mother during the holiday season. She told me something that I don't think I will ever forget. She told me that it will never get better, but it will get easier. I believe that is true. The pain will never ever go away, but it gets easier to deal with as time goes on.
Mother's Watch by Andrea Hill
I sit beside you, Mom
On death's doorstep you lay
I set my head upon your wrist
As I bow my head to pray
The world to me shut off
The silence here is thick
Alone just you and I
And your watch's rhythmic tick
I block out all my pain
And loss I'm sure to feel
I concentrate now deeply
On the tick your watch reveals
I sit here now for days
And hear the rhythmic sound
I contemplate you being gone
The thought now seems profound
The time for you is near
To enter Heaven's Gate
I'll stay here by your side
Until your journey is complete
It's months now since you've passed
My wounds are healing slow
I want so much to hear your voice
To see your smile's glow
I lay my head upon my wrist
When my feelings are too strong
I hear your watch's rhythmic tick
And know you're never gone


Christmas Decorations

I had fun with the Christmas decorations this year. I had not been able to put any up for the last couple years since all of my stuff had been in storage. Richard was good at getting the boxes out of our storage room, and I did the rest.
It was nice being able to go through all of my decorations and finding the ones that were my Mom's, and thinking of her.
Hope this holiday season will be good for everyone!
Happy Holidays!


Love my new job!

I have made it through my first week and a half of the 8 week long training class at my new job, and i am loving it so far! I have wanted this job for at least the last three years, but they always used to go through those stupid temp agencies to get their employees. I have a few friends that work there, and as soon as one of them told me about a job fair, I came a runnin'! Needless to say, I got the job! *yay* The training class is such a breath of fresh air compared to other places I have worked. You can tell that the company has spent alot of money just on their training program. Everyone in my class is so different from one another. That is also another relief. Unlike other jobs that want you to conform to what they want you to be, and how they want you to act, eBay encourages everyone to be their own person, and show their unique personalities. I have already learned so much in just the week and a half that I have been there, my brain is about ready to explode. I am definitely looking forward to finding out what else there is to learn in my class. Love it, love it, love it!!


Happy 10 Year Anniversary Area 51!

we just got home from a pretty fun night at area. this whole week has been thier big 10 year anniversary party, with tonight being the big finale. they gave away prizes, had a spot light outside to attract people, and a huge blown up rat! it was about as tall as the club itself, which is 2 stories. lots of people showed up from the old days that i haven't seen forever. i wore a hot little asian number that i couldn't move in, but hey... it looked good. i can't believe it's been 10 years already since our beloved hang out opened. the original studio 54's run was only for just under 9 years. area is the longest running club in salt lake city or maybe even the whole state. i can't remember. i love it there, and it sure shows since i've been a regular since it opened! this is me and my good friend and general manager @ area, reider. we matched! all asian and stuff congrats to area 51 for a great 10 year run, and looking forward to another 10 years.


Rest in Peace, My Dear Friend Sanjin.

As many of you may have heard by now, our good friend Sanjin was killed in a car accident on the morning of August 10th between 2:30 and 3:00 am. He has always been such a good friend to so many people. He will be greatly missed by all of his friends, family and many loved ones. We all love you so much, and know you are in a better place now away from the hell of this earth. Raise a glass of Crown to our Sanjin. See you on the flip side! xoxoxo