Sleep Baby, Sleep.

I just came back from soothing you back to sleep. I was just sitting here playing on the computer (yes, I am aware it is 2am) when I heard you start to cry. You have been doing this almost every night for the past while.

I can only guess that you are having nightmares or night terrors. There have only been a couple times where you were so scared and crying so hard that I couldn't console you immediately. The rest of the time as soon as you see me or feel my hand on you, you calm right down.

Sometimes I try to pick you up so I can rock you back to sleep in the rocking chair. Since you are not liking it when I try this lately and want to just stay in bed, I will rub your back, head or leg. Whichever I can reach the easiest depending on your position in the bed. Sometimes I will sing Baby's Boat a Silver Moon to you.

It doesn't take long to calm you down and get you to doze off again. Every now and then after I stop rubbing you will lift your head up and make sure I am still there. I will sit by your bed for a couple minutes just so you will know that I am there and sneak out when you haven't lifted your head to look for me in a little while.

Every bit of this process just melts me as well as breaks my heart. 

I wish I knew what was running through your little brain to wake you up from sleep in a cold sweat and crying. I wish I could jump in there and protect you from what is scary.

I love that you usually calm right down as soon as you know I am there. As if you know that Mama Bear won't let anything happen to you.

I love being able to comfort you. That you trust me enough to be able to fall back asleep as I watch over you. But then my heart is broken again when you lift your head to look for me and I can still see fear in your sweet eyes.

Sweet dreams my baby boy.
Mama loves you.

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